STREAKER FOILED BEFORE
HE COULD DRESS

by our reporter who knows a craic when she sees one, Denim Sue.

A streaker at the 2004 Nude Croquet World Cup between England and the central European state of Chukusdehoova held in Uxbridge brought the match to a halt although the only spectator Miss Sultri de Meena later stated she hadn't noticed.

Sergeant Derek Crane-Flie of the Uxbridge Police first became suspicious when one of his men spotted a small pile of lady's clothing, topped with an expensive pair of silk panties, secreted at the base of the surrounding hedge. Naturally the police focussed their attention on Miss de Meena and had it not been for Constable Plunkett, who had previously been rather attentive to her, wandering off 'to relieve his frustration' near the hedge, the streaker may well have succeeded.

A previously unseen gentleman was approaching the panties! Plunkett immediately tempered his frustration by releasing his dog, Doo-Dah. The man ran for all he was worth running right in front of the presentation table. Miss de Meena, who was sitting near the presentation table at the time said "I didn't take too much notice. By the look of him I just thought it must be chillier than I thought."

Sergeant Crane-Flie, his stripes felt tipped on his arms for the occasion said "There was nothing we could do. Had he managed to dress, albeit in lady's clothing , we would naturally have immediately arrested him, . but you can't arrest somebody for merely running around. I shall be severely reprimanding Plunkett. He seems to have a predisposition for anything feminine. At least Doo-Dah managed to give the man, once he had fallen over, a rather nasty surprise".

After play was resumed England lost the match 4-3, afterwards complaining that the interruption had affected their game and they had had a weight disadvantage in any case.