A saxophone playing busker in Villiers Street, WC2, was the cause of many complaints. The council noise enforcement officers eventually served him with a notice, and returned with the police who, after a scuffle, took him into custody. The sax was seized and given back - after the busker signed an undertaking never again to play in the borough of Westminster unless he invested in music lessons.

Evening Standard

A man in California who claimed that a woman called Brenda that cut off his penis has now admitted he did it himself. Alan Hall wouldn’t disclose the reasons for the act or why he had described the imaginary attacker to the police. Doctors were unable to reattach the organ. Mr. Hall is a pipe fitter.

The Independent

With regard to the Lent and Summer ‘99 edition of the magazine please note that there is an error on page 13. The third line of the second column should read ‘cross country skiing’ and not ‘seal clubbing in Greenland’.

Letter to parents from the editor of the Lancing College School Magazine.

Ex-marine Stanley Heisleman 41 pleaded guilty in Allentown, Pennsylvania to six convenience store robberies, four of which he pulled off while naked. Heisleman told police that during a previous stint at robbery he had been identified by his clothing and was determined to not let that happen again.

The Guardian.

Exchange between a Mull policeman and a lady tourist, who was upset by two dogs engaged in the act of procreation:

Tourist: Officer, can’t you stop them?
Policeman: What would you want me to do?
Tourist: I don’t know, throw a bucket of water at them ... or a biscuit.
Policeman: Would you stop for a biscuit?

Wester Ross local paper.

Otley Business Card.

Please note we’ve finally found the winner of the fête look alike fancy dress competition. We were looking for someone dressed up as Peggy Hunter when we should have been looking for Pocahontas.

Etchingham Parish Magazine.

Pat Holland and Gail Sturdy of Oxford Street, Burnham-on-Sea were married at St. Bridget’s Church, Breen which they followed with a honeymoon in Highbridge Snooker Hall.

Bridgewater Mercury.

A woman is suing her former psychiatrist for malpractice claiming he convinced her she had 120 personalities and then charged her insurance company for group therapy.

Associated Press.