Thousands of rail passengers faced delays this week because of dogs on the line. Ten hounds from the West Kent Hunt were electrocuted when they tried to cross the line in pursuit of a fox. Hunt sources blamed the fox for running the wrong way.

West Kent Messenger.

Parents have withdrawn their son from Lancing because he was being bullied. His ankle was severely bruised and he was on crutches for a week. The school said he had to stand up for himself.

Daily Telegraph.

9 people were bitten by donkeys on Bridlington Sands during last season. 172 were stung by jellyfish and another 13 were bitten by dogs. These were just a few of the 2,186 cases handled by first aid posts on the town beaches. Only one casualty required hospital treatment, a male tourist from Holland who had to have a stick of rock removed.

Exmouth Weekly News.

Police in Eastbourne brought forward a drugs raid after realising their tip off to a local paper would be published before the raid took place.

The Independent on Sunday.

9.00 News
9.55 Party Political Broadcast by the Conservative Party
10.00 They think it’s all over

The Independent TV listings.

Overall in the age band across all groups of women, a total of 14% were not having sex at the time the questionnaires were completed.

Daily Telegraph.

Dog kennel suit medium size dog good condition very turdy.

Local advertisement.

A washing machine in Bulgaria started swearing at its owner. They’d barely plugged it in when it sneezed explained Jenca Dra, then when I used it for the first time it said ‘bollocks’ and ‘ow’. Over the ensuing two days, a succession of expletives issued from the appliance had eventually convinced it was possessed by Satan, Miss Dra summoned the local priest. However it was only when a plumber took the machine to pieces that it was discovered the voices in fact belonged to midget Anton Syzocki. He had concealed himself inside the machine to burgle Miss Dra only to find he couldn’t get out again. It was a surprise to find him there said the unfazed plumber. Normally you just get navel fluff.

The Big Issue.