LITERARY SECTION

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I have lost my mistress, horse and wife,
And when I think of human life,
Cry mercy ‘twas no worse.
My mistress sickly, poor and old,
My wife dam’d ugly and a scold, -
I am sorry for my horse.
* * *
Here lies the body of Mary Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
Until fifteen she kept her virginity,
Which is a record for this vicinity.

* * *
WILLIE’S EPITAPH

Little Willie from his mirror
Licked the mercury right off,
Thinking, in his childish error,
It would cure the whooping cough.
At the funeral his mother
Smartly said to Mrs. Brown:
“’Twas a chilly day for Willie
When the mercury went down”.

* * *
ON A PARTY GIRL

Lovely Miranda, who found
One sure way to get around,
Goes to sleep beneath this stone,
Early, sober and alone.