This year, instead of one of my delicious Christmas food suggestions, I am restricting myself to alcoholic drinks which should see you through sufficiently numbed until the whole grizzly commercial pandemonium is over.

I have been collecting cocktails since before I left Cheltenham College over six years ago now and have a collection of over 400. I don't mean I've got them lying about in glasses collecting dust, I mean I have collected the receipts for them. Here I have restricted myself to a few, all of which are mixed, as many people do not have cocktail shakers, and those that do may not be able to get hold of ingredients that are rather obscure.

To mix a cocktail you can simply use a large tumbler as a mixing glass. If you have no mixing spoon (a sort of teaspoon with a long handle) you can use the handle end of a tablespoon. Stir the cocktail vigourously. Note that no professional will ever refer to this process as ‘stirring’, the correct term is ‘mixing’. So, eat your heart out, Mr. Bond.

In addition to cocktails I have included a couple of hot drinks that are very suitable at this time of year.

A gill (pronounced Jill) is ¼ pint, or 5 fl oz, and a dash is about 1/3tsp.

KNICKERBOCKER COCKTAIL
1 dash Italian vermouth
1/6th gill French vermouth
1/3rd gill dry gin
Serve with a little lemon-peel juice squeezed on top.

MARTINI COCKTAIL
1 dash orange bitters
1/6 gill Martini vermouth (dry)
1/3 gill dry gin
Serve with a little lemon-peel juice squeezed on top.

OPENING COCKTAIL
1/8th gill grenadine
1/8th gill Italian vermouth
1/4 gill Canadian Club whisky

PADDY COCKTAIL
1 dash of Angostura bitters
1/4 gill Italian vermouth
1/4 gill Irish whiskey

QUARTER DECK COCKTAIL
1tsp lime juice
1/6 gill dry sherry
1/3 gill rum

RAY LONG COCKTAIL
1 dash Angostura bitters
4 dashes Pernod
1/6 gill Italian vermouth
1/3 gill brandy

HOT TEA PUNCH
This tastes rather better than it sounds. If you do not have a solid fuel fire you could use a sharpening steel over a gas flame for the mulling. You'll need a large container for this receipt.
3 pts freshly brewed tea
1 pt brandy
1 bottle dark rum
sugar to taste
Mix well and mull with a red hot poker. This should be enough for at least twelve glasses.

ALE POSSET
1 pt milk
1 cupful of sherry
1 cupful of ale
4 lumps of sugar
Heat the milk until it almost boils. Meanwhile mix the sherry, ale and sugar in a jug and then add the hot milk. Serve with grated nutmeg.

HOT BUTTERED RUM
This is a sort of dilute version of the buttery sauce that is delicious with Christmas pudding.
2tbs rum
2tsp sugar
2tsp butter
1/2tsp cinnamon and cloves
Simply put all the ingredients into a tumbler, top up with boiling water and stir well.