interag - Aggie Pratt interferes 58

AGGIE PRATT INTERFERES

Aggie answers the questions
that you asked someone else

Dear Geraldine,

Lately my husband and I have hardly spent a night together. When we do he is colder to me than a wet fish and about as much use in the sack as the five-day-old sandwiches I regularly find at the bottom of our son's schoolbag. I'm very grateful to my husband for everything he has given us. He recently even took up a job as a barman at a lap dancing club on top of his day job. However, despite this, he hasn't been bringing home any more money. In fact we rarely have any money for food, let alone a romantic evening out. Recently I confronted him about it but he denied having an affair with one of his new colleagues. He tells me that his lack of interest in me is due to a number of factors, not the least of which are the September 11th attacks on New York and Washington, the global economic downturn and foot and mouth disease. Is this a valid excuse for the breakdown in our marriage?

Aggie Pratt says: What you are going through is something that is experienced by many couples. From time to time married people drift apart, but after a while they find that the bonds that have tied them to each other in matrimony and the need for sex bring them back together again. Be patient. What you are feeling right now – loneliness, suspicion, murderous rages, despair – are all perfectly natural and eventually things will play themselves out. The fact that your husband is prepared to work at two jobs to support you and your son shows just how much he cares for the two of you. We have all been touched deeply by recent events and it is not fair to blame your husband if he wants a bit extra 'quiet time'. And if that time has to come with some sluts in a seedy lap dancing club, then so be it.

Dear Emma,
I'm so confused. I love a guy who is married and twenty-three years older than me. We have a weird relationship. A few weeks ago he said that he loves me but we have to break up. I know that he has a wife, a child, and a different lifestyle, but..... What do I have to do to make him turn to me?

Aggie Pratt says: There is nothing you can do to make this lecherous, deceitful and manipulative midlife-crisis-in-action ratbag turn to you. You cannot make people love you. He is, in fact, doing what is probably the only thing decent action in his life, even though it is likely that it is for the wrong reasons.
You have been very selfish in entertaining this adulterer in the first place. Have you no thought for his wife or child. One day you may a middle aged wife yourself, God help us, would you like to have this happen to you? I should refrain from ‘weird relationships’ in future, in fact I think that you should refrain from all relationships until you have grown up.

Dear Virginia,
I’m 52 and happily married with a good career and a lovely husband, but I find the fact we never had children increasingly painful. When I met my husband it was too late to have children, and when we go on holiday I just cry all the time, seeing families with young children. I have a lot of good things in my life, but children seem so fundamental that I feel as if I’m permanently grieving.

Aggie Pratt says: The words beds, lying and making spring immediately to mind. It is illuminating that you claim to have a good career. Many young people nowadays put off having children for financial reasons because of the crazy cost of housing. But you have made a choice, not with your present husband whom you have obviously only recently met, but you must have had about 30 years of fertile life and you have chosen not to use it. All you can do now is try to get involved with someone else’s children and if you can find some who won’t resent an interefering old woman you may be able to release some of your angst.