Aggie Pratt says: Probably, at least with the memory of her, or to be more precise with his recall of the memory of her. Most men think of some other woman whilst having sex, but don’t forget he is with you.
Do you see her regularly? If not, how do you know if she is still stunning? She may have incurred horrific facial scars from a road traffic accident in the last year. If you are, however, he may be and he may be having an affair with her, who knows?

Dear Virginia,
Although I get on well with women, I’ve never had an intimate, loving relationship and had come to accept a life of bachelordom and celibacy.
Now I’ve suddenly fallen in love at 40, and sex is about to happen. But I’m so anxious about it. I want lovemaking to be a pleasure for her, but if I have a panic attack, it’ll all go wrong.
It’s not like giving a presentation to a roomful of people when you grit your teeth and plough on – and I can’t ask my friends about it.
I’ve been making so many excuses but the day is soon approaching and I’m almost dreading it.

Aggie Pratt says: Forty and still a virgin, what on earth is the matter with you? You are right about one thing, sex is not like giving a presentation to a roomful of people (at least, not traditionally), neither does it just happen incidentally. I’m a bit worried about these panic attacks, do you get them often?
The first thing you must do is to tell your new found love and stop lying to her with these excuses. When she has stopped laughing, if she hasn’t already donned her coat, all may not be lost. If she is a patient woman and loves you she will be able to teach you, but remember that sex is something that gets better with time and the same partner.
One last thing has just occurred to me, that is that she might be a virgin too. You don’t say how old she is or in how closed a society you mix. In this case, apart from the ludicrous prospect of two virgins, you can at least learn together.

Dear Bill,
My boyfriend is a clothes snob – he spends all his money on designer labels and never has enough left over to go out. It’s good that he looks nice, but I need a social life!

Aggie Pratt says: Your boyfriend is extremely stupid. Anyone who spends more money on a label than the clothes to which they are attached is stupid enough, but to do so just to sit at home means they can’t even try to impress anyone (and let’s face it, designer labels will only impress other stupid people). Perhaps he does it to impress you, you say it’s good that he looks nice, just remember it’s what’s inside that counts not the packaging. Remember the famous words of the American musician who sang “All we got is American made, it’s a little bit cheesy, but it’s nicely displayed”.