Dear Gladys,
I know everyone gets spots sometimes and everyone picks them sometimes, but my wife re-picks the same spots. Her face is covered with scars and blotches.
I love my wife so much, but I find this spot-picking unattractive so we don’t make love as often. If I mention it she loses her temper and asks me if I have lost interest, and I, dishonestly, answer: ‘No’.
But I have because her face and body put me off.

Aggie Pratt replies: Although it is obvious you have been married for some time, as you are lying regularly to her, you don’t say if your wife’s ‘Spotty Muldoon’ appearance is a recent phenomenon or if she has always been horrendously spotty.
If the former she may have caught some terrible disease so you would be well advised to get her quarantined somewhere. However if the latter is the case then you have a number of alternatives. As her whole body is involved a bag over her head will not be good enough, you could however knit her a complete body stocking with merely a few apertures where required. Alternatively you could just switch the light out and think of somebody else. Most men do this anyway.

Dear Melanie,
I’ve always had a problem with sex. It just doesn’t last. I hardly know how I managed to father our two children, because I am barely able to have intercourse at all before it’s all over.
I’ve been married 14 years and my wife has been very patient. She says it’s not a problem for her, but obviously it must be very disappointing. It’s all making me feel so worthless, inadequate and unmanly that I am at my lowest ebb ever. I couldn’t possibly go and see my GP.
The only time I can make myself last is if I have a lot to drink, but obviously that’s not very satisfactory.

Aggie Pratt replies: You are quite right to feel worthless, inadequate and unmanly if you have only just decided to ask advice after 14 years. I hope your poor long suffering wife has been obtaining some good sex with another whilst you have been at work.
You ought to go to your Doctor, he’ll probably get a good laugh out of it, even if it doesn’t help you. Why is having a lot to drink not satisfactory? If I were your wife I’d get drunk every night.