THE ALTERNATIVE ENGLISH DICTIONARY
A - B

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abattoir (n) three in a bed in a monastery.
acolyte (n) easy listening clarinet music.
absentee (n) missing golf accessory
abundance (n) baker's jig
acoustic (n) snooker implement
antelope (v) to run off with your mother’s sister.
assassination (n) an arrangement to meet a donkey.
autobahn (n) large shed for factory farming animals esp. chickens.
autocracy (n) government by car drivers.
baloney (n) disappointing skirt length fashion.
baptist (n) a junior hamburger chef.
barium (n) an interment
basket (n) nap.
battery (n) a willow farm.
bicycle (n) a double headed corn cutter.
boulder (adj) less timid
boutique (n) a startling kind of hardwood.